if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
