Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize