Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
