I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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