did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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