I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
