ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize