woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
