I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
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Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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