the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We need a shit load of segways right now
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize