I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
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In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
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I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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