Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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