White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
