yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
