he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
