well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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