You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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