i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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