my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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