It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
