do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize