Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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