Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
