I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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