I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
