Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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