Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
