..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
