she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize