btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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