just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
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I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
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The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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