belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
