what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
