Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
