I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Drunk is not a location!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?