she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E