quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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