I cannot find my penis.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
