If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
