You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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