boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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