Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
