I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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