how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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