made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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