he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
