haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
