i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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