HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
