Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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