I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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