She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
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I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
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You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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