if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
