You can't motorboat a personality
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
