We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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