I met the friendliest cop last night
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
babies were throwing up all over the place
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize